J’Nae Fixes: Fashions Agony Aunt #2
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Dear readers, ‘J’Nae Fixes: Fashions Agony Aunt’ volume two is here and ready for your keen eyes!
Each month I’ll be tackling whatever unsolved fashion scenarios you send my way. These scenarios can be things that have cropped up in your work on personal life; maybe transitioning from virtual working back to IRL office situations is proving tricky and you have no idea what to wear as your pandemic wardrobe consists only of hoodies and sweats, or maybe you have questions about how to express your identity and are having a tough time putting together outfits that express who you are and how you wish to be seen.
Whatever the case, I’m here to help. I’ll be keeping readers anonymous for obvious reasons - so be kind in the comments.
Question one: I don’t like my clothes, but I’m also not inspired by anything new I’ve seen lately. How do I change that?
Not always feeling inspired by your wardrobe is totally normal. We shouldn’t feel obligated to be hit with a ‘wowww’ feeling every time we open our wardrobe doors, which usually results in us buying something new that we probably don’t want (and most likely don’t need). Firstly, not everyone can afford to buy new clothes on a whim and its not a sustainable way to shop - not to mention the damaging impact our endless shopping hysteria has on the planet. My advice would be to sit with your feelings of being uninspired by your wardrobe and really interrogate where these feelings have come from. Change in life circumstances? General low mood, or maybe you’re suffering from seasonal affective disorder (which always happens around this time of year)? It could be all of these things or none of them, it doesn’t have to be so trivial. But to reignite that inspired spark (which is what I’m guessing you want going off the basis of your question), I’d suggest creating a folder of your most loved outfits on your phone - if you happened to have snapped a quick #ootd - to remember a time where you looked and felt your best. What is it about these outfits that inspired you and made you feel good? Tap into that a bit more, and you may start to feel unstuck.
Question two: Clothing swaps and vintage clothing grosses me out, but I know my fast fashion habits and constant need to buy something new isn’t a great attitude to have. How can I shop more sustainably when neither of these options really feel like me?
First off, let me just say I totally get it. I didn’t shop vintage for a long time because I assumed everything would have moth holes in and would be rejected cast-offs. But once I understood the value of vintage and second hand clothing, and how these pieces would become special to me because no-one else would have them, I was hooked. With the increased awareness of vintage shopping and eco-buzzwords that are being thrown around, it seems as if shopping sustainably is all anyone can ever talk about. But its not easy to get into, and it doesn’t have the same appeal for everyone. If you’re put off by the idea of rummaging around in a dimly lit store that resembles a jumble sale, why not try vintage or second-hand shopping online? Apps like Depop are huge (you can also negotiate prices direct with sellers), and there are plenty of online vintage stores like Beyond Retro that have a great curated selection of items that have been looked after and thoroughly inspected before being posted online. Ease yourself into it - there’s no need to throw out your whole wardrobe and bargain everything away all at once. By starting to shop vintage little by little, in a way that makes sense for you, you’ll transition to a more sustainable way of shopping without even noticing.
Question three: December means we’re at that time of year where all food rules go out the window, its like a non-stop month of eating whatever’s in sight. I’ve also put on weight over the pandemic, and I’m sure Christmas will only add to that. I don’t know how to dress at this time of year with work parties and family gatherings, help?!
As personal as this may seem to you, I think its important to note that a lot of people have experienced similar issues with their body image and fluctuating weight since lockdowns began. I know I have, and many people I talk too echo similar feelings around deteriorating body confidence and struggling to find clothing they feel good in as nothing seems to fit anymore. You’re not alone in feeling this way. At Christmas there seems to be this extra added pressure as we’re expected to put our glad rags on and paint the town red, dressing to impress whether thats at a work function or a meal with your relatives. This time of year its all glitz and glam, and while I’m all for it, it can be another thing added to a list of stuff we’ve got to worry about. When you add weight into the equation it can make things even more difficult, and making things even more difficult is exactly what we don’t need right now. My advice to you would be to let go of the pressure you’re putting on yourself. Does it really matter what other people think, as long as you feel confident and happy in what you’re wearing? In the long run, will you even remember what you wore to a Christmas party with colleagues you wont even be in touch with in ten years time? Chances are probably not. So go for it. The sparkles, the sequins, the feathers - whatever makes you feel festive and gets you in the mood. Dress however you want, try not to think about your weight too much, and have fun. It is the season to be jolly after all.
Remember to keep sending your questions in, commenting on the thread, sharing this post, and using the #jnaesfixes hashtag on Twitter and Instagram to get my attention.
See you in 2022 for round three!
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Catch you next time,
J’Nae
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