Life After Lockdown: Why I’m Dreading Restrictions Easing…
Am I the only one?
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I hate change. I’m a Capricorn, I like routine and regularity, and I like knowing what to expect out of life. Don’t get me wrong I love surprises and spontaneity, but for the most part I’m happy sticking to a routine. Is this why the easing of lockdown restrictions makes me anxious? Is this why the thought of returning ‘back to normal’ has me on edge? We’ve spent so long at home following restrictions and rules I’ve gotten used to living in limbo, our worlds were perpetually suspended and I’ve just about adjusted to this daunting new reality. The furthest I’ve gone is from my bed, to my desk, to my shower and fridge, and back to my bed again. It’s been a tiresome year of living this way and I’m fed up. But in the same breath, I’m not sure if I’m ready for things to return to how they were just yet.
Lockdown has become a comfort zone of familiarity. At a time when we’ve really gone through the emotional ringer and been challenged mentally, lockdown allowed me to press pause on the chaos of everyday life and shift gears to a slower way of being. My life throughout the pandemic has been vastly different from the hustle and bustle of the ‘before times’. When the surrounding world was pure chaos, it was easy for me to relinquish responsibility over things that were out of my control. I adapted to this crazy new world, I reflected and reassessed. I became comfortable, my anxiety subsided as I adjusted to this ‘new normal’. And now for the second time in just over a year, our worlds are about to be turned upside down once again.
As hopeful as I want to be for the future, I can't help but feel waves of anticipatory anxiety over the process of returning to normality. I thought I’d be jumping for joy, doing cartwheels down the platform as I wait for the tube, but instead I feel an overwhelming sense of dread. Yes I want to feel free again, and yes I want to plan holidays and events and have things to look forward to just like everyone else. But straying from the safety I’ve become engulfed in seems like a dangerous game to play.
It’s a natural human response to feel anxious during uncertain times, and it's been a huge reason why mental health has declined so much over the course of the past year. But lockdown has also given mental health sufferers room to breathe, as typical societal pressures and expectations have been lifted. Knowing that there will inevitably be challenges to get back to ‘normal’ life, and that we’ll be expected to snap back to our pre-pandemic selves as if nothing has happened, feels intimidating. It’s going to take a ton of emotional energy, mental strength, and physical endurance to get through the hurdles that are bound to come our way sooner rather than later.
Society is taking tentative steps to resume some sense of ‘normality’, but the end of the pandemic is still far off. After living in this frenzy for over a year, the lives we used to lead will feel abnormal, alien even. We’ve sacrificed old habits and routines, we’ve grieved for all of the time lost as well as the sheer magnitude of lives lost. We unwillingly left our past selves behind. So how are we supposed to go back to what we knew before, when what we feel now is still so raw and unsettling? How do we adjust to another new reality if the one were currently experiencing still hasn’t quite sunk in? I’ve thought of little else but the roadmap to freedom for a long time now. New worries have replaced old, and I’ll be taking baby steps as we enter unfamiliar territory.
We’ll have to adjust to a way of living that isn’t quite the same as our previous lives, but is also different from what we’ve become acclimated to for many months now. We're left with a huge amount of uncertainty about what this new moment in time will look like, but visions of returning to our 2019 heydays are entirely unrealistic. The world will feel bright and bizarre, and we’ll be completely unaccustomed to it. I’ve been longing for lockdown to end, but now that it finally is I’m scared of what happens next. The wrecking ball that is the pandemic destroyed the world we knew. We need to move forward, move on, and make progress. But how do we do that when so much has changed?
There’s a feeling in the air that we may at last be moving in the right direction, that we may have put the worst of the pandemic behind us. We’re not out of the woods yet, but hope is on the horizon. The senselessness that’s played out in recent times may help to explain our illogical moods and feelings, and the ongoing personal battles we’ve been experiencing behind closed doors. As we head back into the ‘real world’, it's okay to acknowledge that this next chapter may not be so plain sailing, that we may feel anxious and tense about the return to ‘normal life’. No matter how isolated our emotions may feel, to get through this were going to have to do it together.
We can choose what parts of the ‘before times’ we bring back into our lives. And as we do so, we need to create space for everyone and their different coping mechanisms. Be considerate of others, practice being non-judgemental if someone feels differently to you, and go at a speed you’re comfortable with – ignore outside pressure to go at a quicker pace. Drastic change lies ahead, but we have the power to control how we acclimatise to the surreal newness of it all. Who knows, maybe this societal upheaval may turn out to be for the greater good after all.
Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter to see more of what I’m up to, and I’ll see you same time same place next week!
Catch you soon,
J’Nae
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING:
- Who knew that a book lovers paradise existed on TikTok? Count me in.
WHAT I’VE BEEN WATCHING:
- Crack: Cocaine, Corruption, and Conspiracy is an eye-opening ambitious documentary tracing the history of the crack cocaine epidemic in the United States.
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO:
- The Unsubscribe podcast may no longer be in production, but their library has some great interviews featuring guests like Vanessa Kingori, Joy Crookes, and Cassandra Gracey. Its aim is to help you unsubscribe from negative habits, and resubscribe to healthier happier ways of living.
WHAT’S CAUGHT MY EYE:
- Good Garms is a sustainable clothing website featuring quality clothing that's made under ethical practices.
ON MY BLOG:
- Spring is one of those seasons where it may rain, the sun may shine, and it may snow all in one day. My latest blog post explores what pieces you need to update your wardrobe for the new spring season ahead - the good news is you can do it without having to spend a penny!
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