Rejecting The To Do List Society Handed Me at Birth
Life is not a competition, nor is it a race.
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Image via Doodly Dumpling on Tumblr.
Do you ever think your life isn’t what you expected it to be by a certain age? That all isn’t what it's cracked up to be? Yeah, well you and me both, and millions of others out there in the big wide world. It sucks to feel this way, to feel that whatever you do you never seem to reach your goals or hit those major milestones - aka benchmarks of a successful life and existence on this planet. There are unending pressures that we face in the 21st century, and judging by society’s archaic rules if we don’t tick off these boxes by the time we’re 30, then we’re screwed. In case you were wondering, I’m in my mid 20’s, I don’t own my own home, I'm not married, and I don’t have any kids. So what does this mean for someone like me?
Once upon a time, the world in which we live determined the age by which we should have achieved various things over the course of our lives. This can leave people like myself feeling like we have an expiration date, if we haven’t achieved certain things by a certain age then we go from being equals to being left behind in the blink of an eye. In the age of social media you can’t help but play the comparison game. Even if you don’t want to, you get sucked into the endless vortex of posts where you only see the best bits of people's lives, their highlight reels so to speak. We’ve come to view these highlight reels as gospel, and there's something inherently wrong with that. We start to look at our own lives as if anything that deviates from the expected norm is not a life worth living.
Your 20’s is supposed to be a decade full of trial and error, full of laughter and mistakes, a time spent figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t. Instead, being in your 20’s has become a time full of relentless pressure to meet certain milestones. Being a young adult navigating this world now means knowing exactly what you want to do with your life, when you want to do it by, and how you're going to get there. We no longer live in the moment, we’re driven by this unrelenting pressure to succeed and hit invisible deadlines. It’s becoming challenging to live life on our own terms.
Instead of appreciating where we currently are in life, many of us fall prey to focusing on where we think we should be. But just because we may not meet these expectations by a certain age doesn’t mean it will be impossible for us to achieve these goals in the future. It’s okay to want more from the life society destines for you, or to want things to work out a little differently than what others may expect. We shouldn’t define our lives and live by someone else’s timeline. The only person most affected by your life, and the only one who is in charge of it, is you.
I’m letting go of the idea that there’s a right time to achieve my goals, and I’m rejecting the to do list society handed me at birth. If this year taught us anything it’s that life is unpredictable, so there’s no point in living by fixed timelines and agendas. Our timeliness are our own, so being told I can’t do something because I’m past a certain age is part of a narrative I’m no longer willing to accept. Frankly, I don’t need to conform to outsider pressures and expectations. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to let life happen on its own terms, because we never know where this weird and wonderful journey may take us. Our lives are not a competition, nor are they a race. We got this.
Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter to see more of what I’m up to, and I’ll see you same time same place next week!
Catch you soon,
J’Nae
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING:
- With most of us living in a state of tenterhooks over the course of 2020, this article from The Good Trade on how to manage future-tripping and release anticipatory anxiety is most definitely worth a read.
WHAT I’VE BEEN WATCHING:
- I know autumn is just around the corner when Gogglebox returns to our screens, it’s a show I look forward to every season and every year. Not the celebrity edition, but the good old regular people version where it all began.
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO:
- On my neverending list of podcasts I need to get round to listening to is ‘Sistory Untold’, a podcast that focuses on looking at women throughout history through the eyes of sisterhood.
WHAT’S CAUGHT MY EYE:
- I love seeing posts from @c_l_o on Instagram for editorial inspiration, I also love the way the artistic imagery they post makes me view nature and the natural elements a little differently.
ON MY BLOG:
- The travel bug (or lack of) is definitely hitting me hard right now, one place I yearn to get back to is Copenhagen. Here's my ‘Copenhagen Travel Guide’ for anyone who wants to tick this destination off of their bucket list.