Things I Haven’t Done During the Pandemic
And the less than impressive things I have done
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Nearly a year deep into this pandemic, and the list of things I’ve accomplished is fairly non-existent. I haven’t launched a new business or started a successful side hustle, I haven’t embraced home workouts and kept up with my fitness goals, I haven’t reignited an old passion and found a new calling, and I’m yet to add to my repertoire of educational achievements. Long story short, I’m not doing anything differently now to the way I was doing things before. I almost wish I’d had some sort of moral epiphany and was emerging as a new and improved version of myself, a J’Nae 2.0 if you will. Realistically, that was never going to happen.
In the midst of the worst global pandemic on record, why does it seem like everyone and their mothers are hustling harder than ever? In light of all the chaos and heartbreak, why have people suddenly decided to learn new skills and improve their lives in any way, shape, or form? As it turns out some of us may be trying to seek order and structure in the midst of such turmoil. So in a way, I get it. Taking command of something, taking command of anything right now sounds appealing, but given the world's current state of disarray, shouldn’t we be focusing more on taking care of ourselves instead? In a society that idolises money, fame, and notoriety, we promote hustle culture and the need to always be switched on without realising the damage we could be inflicting upon our very own selves.
Every split second of our lives does not need to be a chance for us to better ourselves. Now more than ever should be a time where we can rest and recover peacefully, without feeling guilty, or ashamed that we're carving out some space for some much needed me-time. Am I against productivity in a pandemic? No, absolutely not. I have nothing but praise for anyone who’s managing to do anything they deem worthwhile right now. But it’s too easy to see what everyone else is up to and feel lesser than, recklessly comparing and critiquing our lives as we spiral deeper into a dark depressive state. The current challenge of living a gratifying and positive existence is an internal battle I think we’re all privately facing, and I think it’s about time we cut ourselves some slack.
As the world slowly descended into the unknown, and the space in which we occupied shrunk to the size of our homes (and gardens if we were lucky enough to have some outside space), burying ourselves in never-ending to-do lists became a hasty distraction from feelings of confusion and grief. Proclamations about not wanting to waste any time and making the most out of life just aren’t feasible for the moment. Right now, I’ll take comfort and satisfaction anywhere I can in a world that's swiftly declining. But it’s also worth remembering needless productivity is not the answer to our problems. You don’t need to have written a bestselling novel or have reorganised your entire house to feel accomplished right now, or to feel an inherent sense of worthiness. Just surviving these ominous times is pretty damn impressive.
Over the course of this ongoing pandemic, I’ve racked up a whole list of less than impressive things I've done. For instance, I’ve watched so many shows on Netflix I’ve lost count, I’ve loved baking and cooking, got bored of baking and cooking resorting to numerous take-aways instead, and I’ve often laid in bed wondering what the fuck this is all about… does any of that sound familiar? What I have done though is managed to get out of bed each morning, I’ve made it through every day up until now even if it was a struggle, and I’ve put one foot in front of the other in an effort to keep going. My message to you dear reader is this; whether you’re thriving or surviving right now, you got this, we got this, and be kind to yourself in any way you can. There's light at the end of the tunnel.
Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter to see more of what I’m up to, and I’ll see you same time same place next week!
Catch you soon,
J’Nae
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING:
- One of the most interesting characters I’ve come across in a long while, this interview by Vice features Diego Garijo, an ex MMA fighter turned bare-knuckle boxer, and proud drag queen.
WHAT I’VE BEEN WATCHING:
- Magic, mystery, evil plots, dark twists - I binge watched Fate: The Winx Saga in a mere number of days. The show left room for a second season, and I’m kind of bummed that there were only 6 episodes to begin with. I want more!
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO:
- Any other Louis Theroux fans out there? Well if you love a bit of Louis, which I’m sure most of the nation does, his BBC Radio 4 podcast Grounded with Louis Theroux will be right up your alley.
WHAT’S CAUGHT MY EYE:
- Create Eat Move is a wellness service that throughout 2019 hosted pop-up events to support mental health and wellbeing through creativity, nutritious food and movement. Because of COVID, they pivoted to an online model where you can buy a subscription that offers Pilates classes, clean recipes from a nutritional therapist, mental health tips and more.
ON MY BLOG:
- One of my main reading goals for 2020 was to read a range of books from more diverse authors, in particular voices that are underrepresented in the literary landscape. Here’s a blog post on what books I did manage to read by the time the year was out. Not to brag (but yes I am about to humble brag), I surpassed my goal of 1 book per calendar month and read a total of 20 books by the end of the year!
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